Tuesday, November 8, 2016

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“This is still Cara’s story…”
But in it, I failed her. I made her promises without thinking if I could actually keep them. Interesting how this is my job, to protect people and solve problems. However, someone always gets hurt.
Hearts will be broken again and again. This time, someone is going to die. This time, I can’t do my job on my own anymore. I have to trust and listen to the people around me.
Will I save her? Will she save me? Can she end up saving herself? Lies will be told and what is said should be seen. Do I have the strength to handle this new adventure? Only time will tell.
Someone needs to remember the thing that was forgotten.


First, it was Hanna. She’s as dumb as a box of rocks. It was easy to get Travis to play with her pitiful heart strings. I just told him to follow my lead. I mean hell I’ve had him wrapped around my… I laugh again at how easy that was.
My phone rings.
“Hello, mother.” Perfect timing, I say to myself with lots of sarcasm.
“Are you picking up Isabella soon?” This is a bad time for me to have my daughter. I shiver in disgust.
“Mom right now isn’t a good time. Travis left me. Could you please keep her for the night?” I make sure I’m sweet when I talk to her. I know how to work my mother.
“I figured as much. You need to start being more of her mother. Are you taking your meds?” Damn her for being nosy.
“No mother we talked about this. I don’t like how they make me feel.” She knows this answer. I feel like a zombie on those pills I don’t care what that doctor told me. I’m not crazy.
“Nicole Ann Marie, you know what the doctor said. We’re not supporting you for you to have another episode. You best better be taking what’s prescribed for you. I don’t think you want to be back in the hospital again. You’ve been acting so strange." I try hard to contain my scream. She’s getting on my nerves.
“Fine mom, whatever you say. Nothing is strange about my behavior. I’ll try to remember to take my meds.” Not going to happen. I say goodbye and hang up my phone. I don’t need to waste my time talking to her about things she doesn’t understand. I finally pull out of the parking space and drive over to my condo.
I’m furious on my drive. I almost can’t see straight. There’s too much running through my head.
I’m not crazy.
I don’t want to take that medicine, any of it. I won’t take it.
Doctors are freaking pill pushers and want to label me.
Plus, I like how I feel now. I’ve never felt better in my life. I’m in control.
I need to do something. I finally get home and slam my car door as I get out. How could this get so messed up? It was planned out to perfection.
I get inside and look around. I have some of his things in my place. I need to get rid of them before someone ties me to him. I also need to figure out a new plan to get what I want. Jordan needs to see that I’m the better woman for him.
I know how to please him in ways she could never please him. I swear that girl doesn’t have a dirty bone in her body. That’s what he needs is a dirty girl. I was his dirty girl. I was also his good girl. I giggle to myself.
I waited for him and cared for him while he was in the military. I was there when he took over for his father. Then he tossed me away. I deserve him, no one can love him as much as me. He loved me then and still loves me now. I know this in the way he looks at me.
I walk into my kitchen and pour myself a glass of Bourbon. I guess it seems after all I have a taste for the stuff. I mean Travis loved to drink it all the time. I need to find all my notes on all this shit. The mess he has left me with has to be finished. I’m far from done. I don’t have Jordan yet.
I knew Travis was beginning to flake on me. I mean he has always been jealous of Jordan. That was easy to play off of. It did help my luck that the people Jordan involved himself with, were perfect. The Winters, simply perfect to keep Travis mad at him.
The men who put his poor daddy in jail. Fuck that! The man deserved to be there. No matter how many times I told him I felt bad that he never met his daddy. Blah, blah and blah. I laugh.
I walk into my bedroom and look at my pretty vase. It's full of black roses. Those were my idea. I mean if you want to scare someone away why not send them a symbol for death.
“FUCK ME!” I throw my now empty glass across the room and watch it shatter.

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